


Smooth Pebbles (Unfinished)

by sirnando



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 05:02:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3368801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirnando/pseuds/sirnando
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Isco was sucking his thumb when James walked in the first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is double spaced and dumb but I'll fix it later. So like I mentioned a sort of spin off from Legally (you can pretend it's not a spin off whatever makes you happy). sorry it ends sourly but once again, I'm going along with the plot I've set in place in Legally. I might make a spin-off of the spin-off and make it end nicely but we'll see. long so sorry for those who don't like long one shots

The first time Isco met James was in the first grade.

 

He had been sitting alone, his favorite blanket wrapped around his shoulders, thumb wedged in his mouth. Socially awkward he was going to be, his father claimed. Just a baby, leave him alone, mom argued. And that was the root of the problem.

 

James himself was still a baby. Growth stint to be exact. His father worried, his height would interfere with his goalkeeping career. His mother gave up on convincing him that no, contrarily their boy would become a lawyer. But nevertheless neither of them was aware of thumbsucking goalkeeper/lawyer.

 

So when James walked in, thumb in mouth, Isco was in shock. Another boy like him? He’d even tried talking to him, but his legs got caught in the blanket and he toppled over.

 

Went home crying that day. That was the first time.

 

~

In second grade they ended up in the same class again. Not a word had been spoken.

 

Isco had gotten rid of his blanket and thumb. James was still tiny.

 

But what he lacked in height he gained back in friends.

 

He wasn’t a social butterfly, or at least Isco didn’t think so. He had a group of boys around him all the time, but he never seemed to be talking. So what kind of friends were those?

 

Or maybe Isco was just jealous that he was never surrounded.

 

Always alone in the corner of the room. Alone on the playset. There used to be a boy named Alvaro, but then he’d left too.

 

Isco was intrigued by the thumbsucking boy. Maybe he’d even say hi if he could keep his pee in for once.

 

~

Inevitably they were together in third grade too.

 

James was assigned to sit next to Isco. Their first contact.

 

Isco had never been so close to James. Alarcon was far from Rodriguez so their cubbies never met up. And on all the their magic carpets James would always sit on the other side of it where his friends were. Where all the kids were.

 

So when he saw James’ name pasted to the desk next to him, his hands grew sweaty, stomach churned. The first time he’d have to talk to his possible (hopefully) friend.

 

But they didn’t talk, not at first anyways. James would tap his feet on the ground and Isco would get irritated. But he didn’t say anything. Not to his future friend.

 

~//

James didn’t know Isco’s name. Not until third grade anyways.

 

Nobody spoke about him. None of the boys that followed him around. Nor the girls that they talked about constantly.

 

So when he muttered “Isco,” under his breath and the latter looked to him in surprise, he wasn’t calling him. He was just trying it out on his tongue. Because all he really remembered was that he tripped over blankets and sucked his thumb. Very quiet. James’ type of person.

 

If only he knew how to speak up.

 

~

His pencil had dropped once and Isco had plunged down to retrieve it for him.

 

His skin was almost as pale as James’ and when he smiled there was a gap where his front tooth was missing. Cut on his lip. Uneven eyebrows and his eyes were incredibly bright for someone with that shade of brown.

 

James smiled back because his mother had taught him that smiles were the best form of a greeting.

 

~//

Isco didn’t sit alone that day during lunch.

 

James’ little body found itself in front of him.

 

Isco didn’t address him, didn’t know how to. And James didn’t seem to either. They ate comfortably together though.

 

Isco thought he had someone to walk back with too, but the second the bell rang James was swarmed once again.

 

All he heard was “Why?”

 

~

When asked if he’d made any friends his answer was still no. One lunch didn’t qualify, even third grade Isco knew that.

 

His parents worried. He’d never find his way. But there was no method they hadn’t tried.

 

Isco on the other hand didn’t worry about himself. He had a future friend.

 

~//

James was hounded with questions on why he sat with that “loser”.

 

But he always shrugged in response. He didn’t know what they meant. Nothing was ever lost, contrarily, gained.

 

So he didn’t understand why gradually Mesut stopped talking to him. Then Gonzalo and Raul. Until finally he found himself all alone on the swings.

 

Technically he didn’t mind being alone because sometimes the boys talked too much. But nobody seemed to be alone. Nobody but Isco that is. So he went over to him.

 

~//

All Isco knew was that he was alone looking for pretty rocks to add to his collection and all of a sudden James was by his side.

 

“I like that one.” he mumbled and pointed to the smoothest one in Isco’s hand. Isco smiled and looked at James. He did too.

 

~

They sat together every day in lunch. And at this point they walked to and fro as well. 

 

James didn’t talk to the other anymore. Isco dared not ask.

 

It ended up that they shared a lot. One another’s pencils and pens because “Yours are cooler than mine”. Lunches since there was always something tastier in the other one’s for some crazy reason.

 

And whenever James encountered a pretty rock on his way home, he’d bring it the next day and hand it to Isco.

 

Isco had two separate piles in his room. Ones he found himself and the ones James gave him.

 

~

In fourth grade they talked more. Meaning words and not gestures.

 

Isco would walk to James’ house twice a week since the latter’s was so close. Every Tuesday and Thursday.

 

James talked about how he was going to become a goalkeeper. That is if he ever started growing and his mom gave up on his lawyer dreams.

 

“She’s the reason I play clarinet, you know.” He explained one day, the case pulling his body to one side. Isco grabbed it reflexively.

 

They did that a lot. Held things together. Lunches and backpacks and musical cases. Because Isco worried for James. Not only was he short, he didn’t need a crooked back either.

 

And sometimes former friends would sneer, but neither knew why. Probably wished they had friends like them.

 

~

The first time James called Isco his best friend was the end of fourth grade.

 

James was leaving on vacation, was going to be gone for most of the summer and Isco was panicking. Who was he supposed to be with for three months?

 

“I don’t really want you to go,” he mumbled under his nose as he pulled away from James. Goodbye hug, his least favorite.

 

James had smiled at him and jerked him back into his arms. “It won’t be that bad, I’ll try to call my best friend everyday.” his breath tickled Isco’s neck, he blushed. 

 

Best friend. Not only were they friends. But best.

 

~//

James was reluctant himself to leave. But he had to be the stronger one. Show Isco it was ok, only a few weeks. And then he’d be back on his bed, talking about rocks and clouds and bullies.

 

He’d take Isco with him if he could, but it didn’t seem appropriate to ask.

 

~//

Isco spent the following weeks on the couch. Legs up, then down, over his head, under his butt. Crossed and uncrossed and his finger developed blisters in the places where he’d skip channels.

 

His mom yelled at him, told him to go outside. But he didn’t see the point. Fresh air wasn’t important to him. James was, and unless James was standing outside that door, he was going nowhere.

 

“You’ve still got two weeks till he returns son, go play ball or something.” His dad pleaded, but balls didn’t interest Isco. Not in that moment anyways.

 

~

They only had two weeks when the latter returned. Isco was bummed out. Only two weeks of nonstop James and then school would begin and school meant there would be intervals of time without James.

 

“Don’t worry, we’ll probably be in the same class.” James encouraged. Because they’d been ever since the first time.

 

Of course, Isco ensured. Maybe he’d even change his last name to have his cubby next to him.

 

~//

James prayed every night to the God his mom always talked about. Prayed in order for Isco to be in his class.

 

“Please sir, I won’t survive otherwise. Honest. I’ll die, and then mama will cry and papa will cry and you don’t want them crying do you?”

 

Every day, same words in the same order and he’d touch his forehead and chest in the right places like mom had taught him and he even smiled at the ceiling to enforce his point.

 

But like in many instances, God didn’t listen.

 

Rodriguez was written under Room 10. Alarcon under 23.

 

~

They ran to James’ house after reading the list on the school window.

 

Threw themselves onto James’ bed and burrowed under the covers, hugged each other as tight as possible. Isco even started crying. “Fifth grade is going to be the worst.” He muttered and James would pet his hair, squeeze him harder.

 

“It’s fine, it’ll be fine. We can still play together and I’ll even ask mom if you can live here. Or at least for a while. I promise.”

 

And Isco wasn’t comforted in the least by his words, but he had no intention of pulling away from James.

 

~//

Isco’s family moved the beginning of fifth grade.

 

Initially Isco had cried and refused to talk to his parents, locked himself in his room. No way was he leaving James. No way.

 

Only when his mom had slipped a note under his door did he find out their new home was across the street from James.

 

It was closer to their junior high too, Isco could walk home since both his parents worked. “A necessity,” his father claimed and Isco agreed.

 

~

Of course the first person in Isco’s room was James himself, after the first day of school.

 

The room felt empty and cold, white walls and uncovered wood. Nothing special but James loved it. “It’s so big, we can do so much in here,” he gushed.

 

So Isco fell in love with the room too.

 

~

It was a fourth of the way into fifth grade when Isco finally realized he might think of James in a different way.

 

They were eating lunch together, across from one another as was the tradition. James wasn’t doing anything special, just eating his sandwich, but Isco found it so……. cute?

 

He’d heard some boys call girls that, but he never seemed to hear boys be called that. Maybe it wasn’t the appropriate word then, but Isco didn’t mind using it. James was cute. Super cute. And he loved it when he smiled and when he’d tell his stories, when they carried things together and he felt James’ finger brushing his, or when they hugged.

 

And sometimes at night when he couldn’t fall asleep he’d remind himself of the summer and how brown James’ skin had become, how soft it was when he was crying snuggled into him. James’ hands in his hair.

 

But that was sometimes and he never shared those times. Not only did he not have anyone to share with, he didn’t feel it was a good idea.

 

~//

It took James a little longer to realize he liked looking at Isco. And talking to him, being in his presence. Touching him.

 

Around halfway through fifth grade, about the same time they met Sergio.

 

Loud, exuberant and obnoxious Sergio whom the girls whispered about when he walked around the playground. Sergio the complete opposite of both boys, but for some reason they were drawn to him, and he to them.

 

He wasn’t the “new kid” for very long, because kids clung to him almost the second he arrived. But he never seemed to be too interested, sat once with James and Isco, ended up sitting there for the rest of time.

 

“I’m Sergio Ramos and I moved here from some place. I’m not really sure, I know, I’m stupid but whatever. Mom says I’m one of a kind.” were his first words to them, and they’d laughed and eyed one another with the “he’s crazy” look. Isco’s eyes were glowing with laughter.

 

And that’s when James decided becoming friends with this Sergio kid would probably be a good idea, if it meant Isco’s eyes looked like that more often.

 

~//

Sergio was an interesting soul, but he made James laugh and Isco lived for the days that James laughed uncontrollably. Those were his favorite days.

 

Three-fourths into fifth grade, Isco finally settled on the fact that he liked James. And not in the way that he’d used to, in his best friend type of way, but differently.

 

In the way that when James hung upside down on his bed and part of his belly got uncovered, Isco would stare for a few moments more than deemed normal and then had to look away because he’d started to feel all tingly.

 

In the way that if James’ hand would accidentally brush his or he’d touch him in any other accidental way, Isco would scan his brain for any possible situations where he’d be able to elongate the feeling.

 

In the way that when sometimes he laid in bed, he’d imagine James’ lips (lips he’d memorized pretty perfectly) and sometimes, but just sometimes, he wondered if they’d be soft if he touched them. With his own. Just for a second.

 

But that was sometimes.

 

~//

Sergio was another one of those boys that talked about girls a lot. How nice and pretty and cute they were.

 

Sometimes he’d even mention kissing them. Many boys still ran away from cooties, but not Sergio. He was all for these girls.

 

And in moments when Sergio was too busy describing whatever it was he wanted to do with Pilar or Lena or Daniela, Isco tuned in intently but changed all the names mentioned to Isco.

 

It was the normal thing to do. Wasn’t it?

 

~

He told his parents towards the end of the school year that he was not going to agree to any trips. Strictly at home.

 

His parents laughed and agreed (James was a little ticked off at the laughing, but at least they were willing to cooperate).

 

Isco had hugged him for about five minutes when he ran over to his house. “Best news ever,” he muttered and James had to agree.

 

~//

His stomach fluttered extremely whenever he saw Isco from that day on. Much more than before.

 

During the last two weeks of school he’d get so fluttery to the point where his eyes would water, his hands would need to be wiped on the side of his pants. If they weren’t in the same class next year, he didn’t know what he’d do.

 

Their last year of elementary school had to be together. Had to.

 

So he let Isco know his desperation by kissing him on the cheek the last day of school.

 

~//

It was only them when James kissed his cheek. And thank God for that because Isco felt light headed, had to be held by James because the latter was worried he’d fall over.

 

“What was that for?” he breathed and James shrugged slightly.

 

“Just needed you to know you were extremely special.”

 

~

It blossomed that summer, whatever it was they had (since neither of them knew concretely).

 

They turned eleven and spent all their time at one another’s houses. And if not in the house then in the park and if not there then somewhere with Sergio. But always together. They couldn’t name one time where they were separated.

 

It got more physical. Tickling on the bed became more frequent since that was the only thing either of them knew, only way to touch each other extensively without getting red, embarrassed or nervous.

 

If they had movie nights in either basement, they’d share a blanket and if it got real cold (it was usually James who made the first scootch), they’d squirm next to one another, Isco’s arm around James’ shoulder, James’ around Isco’s waist. Their cheeks would press into each other and at times James’ fingers would “accidentally” find themselves under Isco’s shirt.

 

Isco never flinched away, he pushed their bodies closer.

 

~

Their first official kiss could be said was three weeks before school started, in the local park. There was a tree with long branches on the side of the park, the leaves would conceal you if you were far enough in. That’s where they hung out most often.

 

There were broken beer bottles and bags and small square wrappers to things neither really wanted to mention.

 

They were fighting over something, the last chip in the bag and one thing led to another until James was on top of Isco and both of them were breathing hard but they started breathing even harder when James leaned down and pressed their lips together.

 

It was more of an innocent peck than a kiss really, but Isco was in shock and quite frankly James was too.

 

They scrambled up to their feet quickly and brushed the dirt off their pants, returned home since dusk was falling.

 

And they parted ways in the middle of the street, but not before Isco pecked James back.

 

~//

At first they ignored the pecking, but they didn’t stop the touching. Everything resumed as before.

 

Until four days before school started and they checked the list of classes.

 

Rodriguez was once again in a different column than Alarcon.

 

So they ran to Isco’s new room this time and locked the door, buried themselves under the covers and it was Isco telling James everything would be fine this time, petting his hair while James mumbled “Not fair, not fair,” repeatedly.

 

And then Isco pecked James on the lips again, to which the other leaned into and kissed back. Properly this time.

 

He buried his head into Isco’s neck after they’d finished and the latter proceeded to brush his lips against James’ forehead, cheeks, nose.

 

And they fell asleep with each other that night, woke up to Isco’s mother’s consistent knocking.

 

~

From that point on, pecking and touching wasn’t a barrier anymore. They’d do it all the time naturally. But only if they were alone.

 

No one knew about it, not even Sergio who had tied himself even closer to them in the sixth grade.

 

They liked him a lot, but he babbled and they were afraid he’d babble that out.

 

It was a secret this, even sacred to them. Not that they ever shared those types of things aloud.

 

The only time they allowed any contact with each other in school was when they shared things like always, their hands would slip a little closer. And at lunch their feet always magically ended up tangled up together. No one would see though. How could they?

 

Both grew more attached to the other as time passed by, to the point where it was a difficulty to leave one another for the night.

 

Their parents didn’t suspect anything. To them they were as close as before. And both felt like liars whenever mom or dad asked how their friendship was going and they responded with “Same,”. Not in a bad liar way though.

 

~

Halfway through sixth grade, Isco became braver. They gained a few friends here and there, weren’t the same recluses as before. And Isco learned a fabulous thing called swearing.

 

He’d heard his parents say things like shit or bastard sometimes, an ass would slip Sergio, but then Isco discovered fuck.

 

Not that he hadn’t heard it before, he did of course, but he never used it. And the first time he said it when he was with James, the latter looked at him in awe and started laughing.

 

“You have to go to confession now,” he claimed, but Isco didn’t understand where he was supposed to be confessioing. His family wasn’t very religious.

 

~

Fuck became Isco’s favorite word after a while. “Fuck you” and “fuck that” and even an “oh fuck,” whenever James would touch him places and they were alone. James would always blush and smile weakly, but on the inside he was screaming. People on TV only said that at certain moments.

 

And whenever he’d stayed too long at Isco’s on a school night and his mother would be calling from the door across the street, he’d stall. Pinch Isco and kiss his cheeks and cling onto his sleeve. And every time Isco would giggle and push him away. “Fuck off home James,” he’d squeeze out and James would run away laughing hysterically.

 

~

Ass became James’ favorite word.

 

“You’re an ass, she’s an ass, he’s an ass. You have a nice ass Isco.” and Isco would roll his eyes and tell him he was full of shit, but in reality he’d go home and stand in the mirror checking if it was actually that nice.

 

~

Sixth grade had started off sourly but it ended well.

 

Seventh grade meant there was a higher chance of them having a class together.

 

They had three plus lunch. Both were ecstatic.

 

Sergio was in some of them too, but towards the beginning of the year it already became clear that he was going to be extremely interested in girls, much more than before.

 

They were all twelve.

 

James and Isco resumed their old ways, nothing changed. Homework work places alternated at one another’s houses. They touched and swore and kissed when the time was right.

 

James started to fall in love.

 

Or at least that’s what he believed. Firmly.

 

Isco was perfect. There was not going to be anyone any more perfect than him and they would always be together. Forever. Maybe even married, which was silly to him at that moment but it was a possibility. He’d be able to bathe in everything Isco-related till the day he died and there was nothing that could stop that.

 

Then Jese happened.

 

~

He was new in seventh grade, halfway through like Sergio had been.

 

Except no one really talked to him, he was lonely like they used to be.

 

It wasn’t sudden, not that James could tell anyways, Isco’s interest in Jese.

 

He’d mention him from time to time and James would nod and keep doing whatever it was he was doing, not really caring.

 

But then he came up more frequently. Isco would interrupt James in the middle of his sentence to point out something the new kid was doing.

 

James grew scared, even more so when Jese became the topic of conversation outside of school.

 

He tried desperately to change the subject more times than once when Jese was brought up, but Isco always stomped all over his attempts. Was oblivious to the fact that James was slowly beginning to panic. Panic that Isco was slipping away. Didn’t love him the way he did.

 

If he tried to kiss or touch, Isco wouldn’t pull away, but he was never as invested anymore either.

 

Three fourths of the way into seventh grade and James would stay up at night, worry about what was happening. Cried. Replayed scenes in his head where he was the only dedicated one. Edited them to seem like nothing had changed.

 

But it had changed. Isco never talked to Jese but he never stopped talking about him.

 

And the day he pulled away from James’ touch was when James was confident Isco had slipped away in others away too. It was one sided now, as much as he tried to deny it.

 

~

He wasn’t much of a contract person. Nor a cheesy lover. But three weeks before seventh grade ended, he knew that Isco had moved away too far from James. He couldn’t reel him in anymore.

 

So after the last day of school he came to Isco’s backyard with a crumpled note in his hand, pen in the other.

 

It took a while for him to drag Isco to the tree in the park since the latter wanted to know what was happening so badly. But they finally made it.

 

And that’s when James presented his note, written in pen which was running out of ink. A promise that they would be strictly best friends and nothing more.

 

“Why?” Isco asked, exasperated because there was no way he was agreeing to this. He wasn’t going to stop being with James.

 

But James insisted. Told him it was better because he wanted to be Isco’s best friend forever and if anything ever happened then he’d be mad at himself.

He lied well. Isco gulped it all down. Took the pen and signed at the bottom where James’ name was already.

They dug a mini hole in the ground and stuck the paper into it. James dropped the smoothest rock he’d gotten as present down with it, just to seal it completely.

Isco was back onto Jese the next day. James pretended to care.


	2. NOT A CHAPTER

I know, it's annoying when I do this but I got some people wondering if this will become into a full-fledged fanfic and although I am completely unsure of where I'd take it: I'm wondering if that's what more people would be interested in? Making Smooth Pebbles into a fanfic that is. So let me know(::


	3. Prologue: Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part 2 of this introductory to the fic I'm writing, since the actual fic is going to be college au(,: there'll be one more part and then I'll start the actual thing

They got together in ninth grade, Isco and Jese that is. James wasn’t included.

It was- hard. As James liked to address the situation. He was unwilling to describe the hole in his stomach that ate away at him whenever he saw the two together, because it wasn’t actually there. Not one thing. He was fine, it was fine. Sometimes he cried but it wasn’t a big deal, really. He was great.

Sergio would eye him sometimes, oddly. Especially when James started breathing heavily, fists squeezed into tiny little balls, his eyes blinking unnaturally fast. It also happened whenever Isco and Jese were around, then he’d excuse himself and rush to the bathroom, more times than one tripping over his shoelaces which were always untied.

A coincidence, Sergio deemed it. Just a coincidence. Isco was his best friend, why would James ever freak out over him?

So he just stared and never mentioned anything, because it was a coincidence.

~  
James never cried at school, he came close to, but he never let the water building up spill out over his eyes.

Halfway through ninth grade, he regretted making the note. Wanted to dig it up and rip it in front of Isco. Tell him he was fucking stupid and Jese was worthless and why did you leave me?

But Jese was a nice boy, got good grades, quiet. Short. Played the clarinet. And sometimes James thought, they had a lot in common so why didn’t Isco just choose the better version, him?

Those were things he thought about behind closed doors, under covers, away from Isco. And Sergio. And, him.

He didn’t want to hate him, but it’d be better off if he just- kept his distance. Then everyone would be happy, except maybe Isco but he’d get over it.

James was a jealous, greedy teenage boy after all.  
~

Isco forgot about the letter at the end of ninth grade. Well, not forgot it, but he wasn’t confused over it anymore. Up until then though, he’d think about it occasionally: what had plummeted James into making such a decision, why it happened then, if he’d ever change his mind.

And then Jese asked him in ninth grade and from that point on Isco’s awareness of the situation began growing thin. Jese replaced it. Not James, but he was with Jese more often now. Not that he noticed.

Jese lived farther away, not right across the street, so he had to use all the time he could in school. Which meant before school, lunch, break, passing time and after school. And James never strayed away from them, he was usually there. He’d leave sometimes but Isco was too busy with Jese to notice.

James had Sergio anyways, it wasn’t a big deal.

~  
James had Sergio, but he never depended on him. He would always be with Isco (and Jese inevitably) around school. Sergio would prowl around them sometimes, but he had his own small group of girl-thirsty boys anyways.

Not until summer before tenth grade did he depend on Sergio, more than ever. And he felt guilty he’d just started paying attention to him constantly. 

Things had loosened up between the three after the note happened, Isco had Jese and James was too occupied trying to mentally transmit love letters to Isco, so Sergio backed off. He didn’t mind, he knew how to adapt.

But then that summer happened. Isco left on vacation again. Didn’t tell James.

James found out from his parents. Even they were surprised he never mentioned anything.

So James was left alone, which was fine, he’d been fine those years back when Isco was his only friend. He’d wait it out.

Except back then he’d gotten a goodbye and a due date back.

~  
He moped about for a few days, but not long enough for his parents to get frustrated and start telling him to “Get his butt up and go outside”, because Isco came back after 5 days.

He didn’t say hi.

James did though, ran over a few hours after their return and waited patiently till Isco’s mom opened up. Before he would’ve climbed up into Isco’s window, but it didn’t seem proper anymore.

He was too tired for visitors, she claimed and smiled apologetically. She herself didn’t know why Isco was all of a sudden too tired to see James. Before, she had to plead him to rest.

James nodded in response, smiled back to reassure her he wasn’t crumbling on the inside (which he most definitely was) and ran back home.

What happened, his parents asked. But he was too drained to explain. Not drained enough to panic though.

~  
Sergio got a call from James halfway through summer vacation. He was surprised actually, it had been a while.

James asked if he wanted to hang out, get ice cream or something. Sergio agreed, not like he had anything better to do.

~  
James was lactose intolerant. But Jese had come over to Isco’s for a few days. Sleepover party, his mother explained.

So James was denied once again and he needed to get away from his window. Far away. And he’d risk getting an allergic reaction to get there.

~  
James didn’t eat anything, to Sergio’s confusion, because wasn’t that the point of an ice cream parlor?

But he didn’t question anything, since James kept staring out the window and sighing, it didn’t seem the right moment.

“How’s Isco?” seemed like the better question, he hadn’t seen him since the last day.

James shrugged, “I wish I knew.” And Sergio dropped the conversation, his spoon too.

~  
James was much nicer the next time they met. Well maybe nice wasn’t the right description, he was more talkative that was for sure.

They went to the park together, sat on the swings, and Sergio filled up the moments of silence with his own stories. About his brother, sister, the crazy things his aunt did, where he wished he could travel if his family had enough money.

James would nod along, oh or ah in the appropriate moments and throw in a why or when or laugh. Nothing big, but at least he was trying. Sergio didn’t mind. He genuinely liked the other two boys and missed spending time with them, so this was better than nothing.

Isco didn’t come up in the conversation, James didn’t seem to mind.

~  
The day James broke was the day Isco accused him of being too clingy.

“Seriously Hammy, don’t you have something else to do? I’m busy, stop being so clingy.” were the exact words, since James had memorized them after repeating them in his head over and over again.

He was clingy. Clingy. Annoying. And Isco was busy with Jese, leave him alone.

Isco had a point though, why couldn’t he just find someone else to talk to? Why was he such a loser?

So after the door had been slammed shut, James ran to Sergio’s. 

It was two miles but he didn’t even feel his lungs burning.  
~  
After James had appeared at his front step and claimed he’d ran, Sergio didn’t question his appearances anymore. Nor did he question his motives that summer, because he always got a shrug and the clue to move on.

When tenth grade started, they were closer. Closer than before anyways. Sergio still didn’t know many progressions in James’ life since he was never eager to share, but Sergio was Sergio and he accepted everyone as they wanted to be. Some people would mistake it for oblivion, but even then he just accepted.

Out of six, they had four classes together. Two of which Isco was in, plus lunch. Jese was in none of James’ classes, and he thanked whoever was watching over them for it.

Maybe that’s why his stomach didn’t churn as he walked in the first day. “It’ll be fine,” he repeated. It’d become his life motto at this point.

Isco didn’t seem to be interested in going together, but even then James bit his lip and ignored it. Don’t be clingy, it was fine.

~  
Ironically, the three had lunch together, and Jese was not one of the three. And ironically Isco had nowhere to sit other than with James and Sergio.

Why so clingy? James asked himself, because he was feeling more bitter than sorrowful.

They didn’t talk, for the first four months at least. Sergio and his mouth were the entertainment and the other two would laugh at appropriate moments. James was the only one who asked questions and encouraged him, Isco would stare at his plate.

It was fine, James claimed. Who needed him anyways.

~  
Halfway through tenth grade James’ mom found pictures of him and Isco from when they were younger, thought it was a good idea to share them.

He resisted her at first, told her this wasn’t the time and quite frankly he wasn’t fucking interested in baby pictures.

His mom recoiled and gave up, teenage boy he was after all, it was fine.

But then when everyone was asleep he found that damn box and started fucking looking through all the shitty pictures with that bastard. 

And then he found the one, from sixth grade where their arms were around one another, smiles big, chocolate on their faces. And when their moms had turned their backs, Isco had kissed James on the cheek quickly, brushed some of the chocolate off. The heat, James told his mom when asked why he’d gotten so red.

James’ inner clingy-ness uprooted itself up after that. He stuck the picture under his pillow and proceeded to pretend not to care.

~  
They small talked from that day on. About grades, teachers, parents. But James never strayed too far from Sergio. He was his life raft, just in case Isco tried drowning him again.

Isco didn’t seem to mind James’ attempts anymore, at lunch he’d smile and even sometimes laugh at things James said. James blossomed off those laughs, opened up and talked more. Sergio observed quietly from the side.

Nothing really changed otherwise. Besides the fact that three -fourths into tenth grade, when James thought he was finally pulling Isco back to him, Jese told Isco he loved him and the rope slipped from James’ fingers. Left bleeding burns.

~  
Summer before eleventh grade was Isco’s sweet sixteen. James didn’t expect anything sweet.

It was nothing huge since neither of them really talked to others, but Sergio took care of it and invited some people he knew.

Isco had gotten his license and a car, showed it off to everyone and Jese had whispered something into his ear that no one caught but James who was nearest.

He preferred not mentioning it, but all of them simultaneously turned red. Sergio’s eyebrows furrowed.

After they opened other presents and cut the cake, Isco wanted to do a toast. A toast using the sparkling grape juice his parents had bought instead of champagne “on accident”.

James was crouched in the back with Sergio who was standing on his toes to see over all the heads. To my parents, brother, Jese and my best friend James, Isco announced.

James had perked up, unsure if he’d heard right, but Isco was looking at him, ghost of a smile on his lips.

James lifted his glass up shakily and threw the sickeningly sweet liquid back. When asked by Sergio if he was feeling ok, since his cheeks were burning, he answered “The heat,” and Sergio seemed to take it.

His stomach hurt the rest of the night.

~  
Things didn’t magically heal after the party, James wasn’t naive enough to expect them to.

Isco would join him and Sergio sometimes, talked a little more and never mentioned Jese while James was around.

James would stare at Isco sometimes, secretly of course, but nevertheless. And each time his chest would condense and “not mine” rang in his ears.

But at least he wasn’t clingy anymore, at least that.

~  
Two days before eleventh grade, Isco ditched to be with Jese. Not that he specified, but what else would it have been?

So it was just them two on the hill when Sergio asked, “You love him don’t you?”. 

James could’ve asked who, stalled, denied. Anything to avoid the question and make Sergio look like a fool, but instead he answered “Unfortunately,”.

Sergio nodded along, “He never seemed to make good decisions anyways,”

James couldn’t disagree.


	4. Prologue Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so now I'm just going to start from chapter one in college. on a side note: the pairings are obviously James/Isco and then Sergio/Cristiano but I want a third so let me know what you guys are interested in so I can include it!!!!(:

Eleventh grade started out better. Well as good as it could get with the circumstances they were still in. Isco once again didn’t walk to school with James, but James didn’t expect anything else. One unexpected thing was that he found Isco by his side before their first hour.

 

Five classes together, Isco mused looking down on his schedule and James nodded along as if he knew exactly what Isco was referencing.

 

He hadn’t checked his own schedule, not out of fear of lacking Isco, but out of fear that Jese would pop out of nowhere and scream “We have all our classes together!” Not that he screamed, or even talked to James for that matter. But he was paranoid about a lot of matters at this point.

 

Sergio smiled encouragingly when he saw them walk into class together, saw James suck in a breath and nod his head tinily.

 

He’d be fine, everything would be fine, Sergio claimed. James hoped so too.

 

~

They all had lunch together, again. And everyday Isco would try to bring up some type of conversation where all of them could input their voice.

 

He’s trying, James noted. It’s weird. Why the fuck.

 

Sergio on the other hand sat in front of them, always observed how they acted around one another. James was still stiff, voice shaky whenever Isco asked him a question or responded to something brought up. Hard to believe they used to be so close.

 

James tried sending out messages to Sergio’s thick head that, no, no please don’t make me sit next to him again, let me sit in front this time. I sweat and panic and he’s so close (I want him to be this close), but I can’t have him this close.

 

Sergio didn’t get them (pretended to not get them). He wasn’t pressuring or nosing around in other people’s business, he really wasn’t. It might’ve been because he knew the two for much longer, but Jese never appealed to him. For whatever reason. He claimed it was because he was so quiet but then that would be hypocrisy since Isco and James weren’t the kings of big mouths. So he wasn’t trying to interfere, he just, preferred that Isco end up with James.

~

College loomed over their head half way through eleventh grade, another thing they needed to worry about. More stress added to James’ gentle head. Technically the Isco stress should’ve been gone, but you know.

 

None of them had their career chosen. Not exactly anyways. James was into psychology, trying to figure out why someone felt like they did. How to fix it, where it stems from. If only he could use it on himself.

 

Isco had similar interests, except for different reasons. Human relationships, he claimed he wanted to study. Ironic, James snapped.

 

And Sergio, the most indecisive of them all. Behavioral study, James suggested since he’d noticed Sergio observed a lot. Maybe, he claimed, but I’m not really good at that. Irony as well.

 

All James and Isco knew for sure was that they’d promised one another they’d attend the same college, no matter what. Even if the college said no (which seemed rational back then). 

 

James still hoped. It skimmed Isco’s mind sometimes.

 

~

 

It had gotten better in the middle of the year. Much better. They exchanged gifts in December, something that hadn’t happened in a long time. They would laugh and smile, Isco would even attend Sergio and James’ “bonding sessions” as they called them. It grew back, James marked. They were closer than the wretched ‘before’. Maybe Isco would wake up completely revived again. Forget about everything. Pretend like it wasn’t weird for 17 year old men (boys though) to climb through windows and eat ice cream on roofs. All the things they’d missed out on during ‘before’, all the things James wanted to relive no matter what age.

 

But then that happened. Isco’s time. His first time.

 

¾ into eleventh grade. And James lost his grip again. The burns hurt even more, he sulked, he cried. He didn’t talk to anyone. Sergio respected it. Isco didn’t dare speak a word.

 

James gave up. Didn’t pick the rope back up. What was the use when he’d just keep getting burned. They could relive many things missed out on, yes. But first times can’t be re-lived.

 

~

It took the end of eleventh grade for Isco to notice something was wrong with James. It all rushed back to him overwhelmingly actually, when James ignored him completely. Didn’t talk. Didn’t smiled. Didn’t try.

 

He did feel like a fool, somewhat. But at this point he couldn’t do anything to turn it back because James refused to acknowledge him.

 

He found out from Sergio where he’d applied to college, sent his own letter in. He’d promised all those years back, no matter what would happen.

 

Sergio sent his there too, because why not. He was still undecided anyways.

 

~

 

Isco was an asshole, James concluded. It took him a damn long time but he was. He really was. And it angered him that somewhere deep deep, extremely deep down, he still liked Isco. But it was so deeply buried under hatred that James was unable to pull it back up. Not like he wanted to, he’d played nice for too long.

 

It pissed him off, mostly because only when he’d decided that Isco does not have to be dealt with, did the latter change his approach. Tried to start more conversations, hung out whenever Sergio and him did (never missed even when James knew Jese had recommended something else). Well you know what, James replayed in his head over and over, fuck that. He had Sergio and his parents and his future and that’s all he needed. His virginity too which wasn’t exactly needed but at least he’d use it up on someone worth his time. He wouldn’t waste it on a bastard.

 

So when summer came around, he pleaded his parents for a vacation, who were thrilled to please him. Colombia for five weeks. Suck that.

 

~

He’s gone, Sergio informed Isco a week into James’ departure. He acted surprised that the latter was in the dark, but in reality he knew. James had had multiple anger filled rants before.

 

Colombia. For five weeks. But James hated traveling? Unless he was running away from contact with Isco? He wouldn’t do that would he? Right? He loved hanging out together? Like yeah Isco had been a douche for a little but surely not enough to elicit this type of decision?

 

Sergio shrugged with every question, answered them mentally.

~

Oblivious, James spat.

 

Confused, Sergio shot back.

 

Asswipe, he countered.

 

A work in progress, Sergio ended. But he was agreeing with James on the inside. Fueling his fire wouldn’t be beneficial for anyone.

 

~

When James returned, Isco was at his step a few hours after. But James stuck his cold shoulder out and claimed he was too tired to see anyone. Jet lag, any dumbass would understand.

 

Isco shook his head politely and went back home. It was reasonable, he repeated. Nothing big. Nothing bad. Don’t panic.

 

He decided hanging out with Jese for the rest of the summer would be a better decision.

 

~

Damn right it’s a better decision, James rolled his eyes when Sergio passed along the news.

 

Sergio smiled weakly and nodded along. There was nothing he could disagree with, it just hurt to see that this was falling further than he could’ve imagined.

 

Not that he was interfering.

 

~

On the first day of senior year, Isco tried one last thing. He ended up at James’ door, walked to school with him. 

 

James took no interest, walked beside him quietly until they reached the building.

 

Last first day, Isco announced as if it wasn’t obvious. We’ve come far, he tried. James just shrugged.

 

Well at least we’re not sucking our thumbs, he chuckled quietly. James looked at him stunned, stared. Isco shifted on his feet and James had to run off before he did something stupid.

 

~

Since they had two classes together and no lunch, it was easy for James to keep his ignoring spree going.

 

Sergio was in all of them, plus lunch. Fate, James claimed. They were never supposed to be best friends forever then. It was written down already.

 

Isco on the other hand panicked and bit his nails a lot. This wasn’t supposed to happen this way. Not at all. They were supposed to have all their classes together. Graduate. Move on. Be best friends still. What the fuck?

 

Sergio watched him suffocate, hoped he’d pop and set things straight.

 

But it wasn’t interfering.

 

~

There’s nothing to describe for the rest of senior year. James grew in confidence, in his friendship with Sergio. Isco rotted. Still stuck with Jese.

 

They threw their hats in the air separately, since Alarcon and Rodriguez were so far away from one another. Ramos wasn’t though, and Rodriguez only cared about Ramos.

 

He attended Sergio’s crazy friends’ parties, got drunk, laughed, made new friends which he’d lose contact with in the next few weeks. 

 

Isco moped at home. James didn’t pay attention.

 

The only time his wall of ignorance broke was when Sergio told him all three were going to the same college. Same studies.

 

And Jese, James asked.

 

No. Major in medicine.

 

And how did Isco know where they were going?

 

No idea, Sergio said.

 

And that was a lie and interfering. But interfering was now going to be required.


	5. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Isco like being ignored by anyone and everyone. Friends not needed. Sergio thirsts for contact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've added more people to this fic, since I want to try out players I haven't really incorporated before. Their characters will develop throughout etc etc, if anything needs to be noted I'll mention it in notes. For now I added Luka/Gareth and Lucas/Marcelo plus Dani just as extra.

James wasn’t impressed with the college. With the campus layout, the food they offered, the books he was forced to buy (and take money out of his own pocket for). Wasn’t impressed with the classrooms, his dorm. The way the people acted. His professors. The weather. Not intrigued, not at all.

 

“Well it goes to show that you can’t believe movies,” Sergio stated and threw his stuff onto his bed. James grunted under his breath.

 

“It smells.”

 

“I can spray my cologne?”

 

“No,”

 

“I don’t have any air fresheners with me, that’s what we’ll have to-”

 

“I don’t want the fucking cologne clogging my nose up.”

 

Sergio retreated, sat down onto the sheets and picked at his nails. 

 

James chucked his pillows onto the mattress, fell down noisily. He wanted to go home.

 

He was going to voice his anger, but Sergio rose suddenly. “Where are you going?”

 

“To make friends.”

 

“Friends? You have me.” But Sergio shrugged and left without him. James wasn’t surprised. He was fine with being holed up along with one other friend, but Sergio needed air. New voices, faces.

 

He heard Isco knock around in the other room so he got up himself.

 

~

 

Isco’s room smelled like piss. In many ways he wished it was an exaggeration. There were no windows, so he was stuck with his mini air freshener his mom had given him right before he left. He’d thrown it into the trunk absentmindedly, but was thanking her now.

 

There was about a foot of room between the beds, dust caked on the rails. The toilet worked, but the water was yellow. He’d rolled his eyes and flushed it on first sight, but unfortunately it wasn’t pee. It was just - that color.

 

James, who was still ignoring him even though they’d driven the three hours together to this place, had gotten Sergio. Coincidence, really.

 

His own roommate hadn’t come in yet, so he bit his lip in anticipation. Please don’t be some weirdo, please. A nice smelling, calm, smart, nice smelling, clean person.

 

But the person didn’t come for a long while, so Isco laid down on the mattress and closed his eyes, tried pretending the smell of piss didn’t choke him.

 

~

 

Sergio was on a bench, talking up some girls, although boys were present too. They seemed ok, James concluded, but not ok enough for him to walk over and start talking. Not that he was shy, they just didn’t seem the type to want to talk about instruments and books.

 

So James headed to the library, might as well find something to do and not roam around aimlessly.

 

He found it with ease, the arrows placed all over were helpful. The one positive so far.

 

But as he was about to open the door, someone stopped him.

 

“You seem ok, and I only do this for ok people.” James backed off, startled. Some guy slammed the door shut with his foot.

 

“What?”

 

The guy shrugged nonchalantly, book hanging from one hand. “That place sucks, nothing original. Ancient books of philosophy and drawings of the human mind. The dust’ll give you asthma if you’re not careful.”

 

“But isn’t that what we’re studying, ancient philosophy and the human mind?” 

 

The guy shrugged again, “If that’s what gets you off,”

 

“I never sai-”

 

“Hey man,” he put his hand up, while he himself rose, “I don’t judge. Whatever. But if it ever does change, bookstore is better.”

 

He left before James could ask for his name, but then again, maybe he wasn’t the type to ask for names.

 

He went to look for this bookstore nonetheless.

 

~

 

Sergio saw James walk by from the corner of his eye, but he was too deep in conversation with a blond to interrupt himself. Not that James would be interested anyways.

 

He wasn’t a bad friend, he was completely for getting James and Isco back together again, but he also wasn’t into the idea of sitting around with one friend all day. Things Isco and James enjoyed. (Match made in heaven really).

 

James would be fine, there were plenty of instrument freaks around here. He’d already seen three people playing guitar. (Or maybe that was the same person. Oh well).

 

~

 

Isco found a spot under a tree and sat there. Just sat there and looked around at the people walking around, with other people. He could’ve made new friends or just tried talking, but his spot under his tree was extremely comfortable.

 

His roommate never came, so he gave up on waiting and had left. It was incredible how badly he’d thirsted for fresh air. Didn’t know how he was going to survive any but four hours in that room.

 

He saw James run by at one point, but the latter didn’t notice and he didn’t have enough energy to make him pay attention.

 

~

 

There was no bookstore, or at least none that he could find. There was nothing on the guide he’d gotten a few days before. No one had even mentioned it.

 

The guy was a freak, as he had prejudiced even before. Some asshole finding it funny to make shit up in front of freshman. Probably threw the book into the bushes and ran to his friends to talk about it right after.

 

He was foolish to even try and look for this bookstore after, but he had nothing better to do and sitting in his room seemed the loser thing to do.

 

If only Sergio was quieter and didn’t want to talk so much. Like really, it was their second day. He didn’t need to make one million friends already. He could bond with James over things he already knew about. 

 

But really James was jealous over the fact that he didn’t have those type of capabilities.

 

~

 

When Isco returned someone was lying on the opposite bed. 

 

“Hi,” he mumbled and pulled his hand out awkwardly, “I’m Isco.”

 

The guy looked at it and ignored, “Hi, Dani. I pulled your flower perfume out of the outlet because it was making me nauseous.”

 

“It’s cucumber mint…”

 

“Yeah whatever.” He grabbed his towel and went to the shower.

 

At least he was clean.

 

~

 

James came out of the shower with only a towel wrapped around his hips. Sergio wasn’t back yet, and even if he was, it was Sergio.

 

And Sergio was back. But with someone. James covered the towel with his hands and scooted back towards the bathroom. “Sergio fucking tell me when people are here!”

 

The stranger laughed and Sergio shrugged, “I knocked.”

 

James emerged again, fully dressed this time, but his cheeks were still stained red.

 

“This is my best man friend, James. Spelled with a J. Hammy, this is Marcelo. Funny, witty and a hell of a guy.”

 

James nodded towards the guy… Marcelo. His hair was huge. Honestly huge, and James wasn’t the type to judge but holy- “Shit.”

 

“What?”

 

“What?”

 

Marcelo laughed. “I know, my hair makes quite an impression on first timers.” He smiled genuinely and got up. “Time for me, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he motioned to Sergio and then turned to James. “And Hammy with a J, aka Jammy, I’ll see you too.” He patted James on the shoulder and left, slamming the door behind him. 

 

James winced. “If he breaks that-”

 

“Chill Jammy.” James rolled his eyes. “He’s got some people he knows, you can meet them tomorrow. Maybe someone in his group will intrigue you.”

 

“Yeah maybe.”

 

“Find anything interesting today?”

 

“No. You?”

 

“Just Marcelo, everyone else is pretty mediocre.”

 

“And those girls you found?”

 

“Nah, pretty hollow. But we’ll see.”

 

James nodded and curled up in his sheets.

 

“Talk to Isco?”

 

James made a face, “No.”

 

“Saw him under a tree today.”

 

“Great.”

 

“Don’t you think you should give your new neighbor a housewarming gift?”

 

“He doesn’t deserve my fucking gifts.”

 

“I never said you had to fuck him but-”

 

“Drop it.” And he turned towards the wall, shut his lamp off.

 

End of discussion, Sergio nodded to himself. He deserved to get ignored.


	6. Chapter 2

When James woke up the next morning, Sergio was already standing over him.

"Get up beautiful. It's time for class."

James groaned and wiped his eyes. Fantastic.

It took him fifteen minutes to get ready, partially because Sergio was standing at the door, rushing him constantly. Otherwise it would've been much longer.

"Why are you so eager anyways? You never wanted to go to class in high school."

"New school, new me." He laughed at James' cringe. "Come on Hammy, we have people to meet, psychological terms to learn."

James sighed and grabbed his book, walked out the door. But then spun on his heel and ran into Sergio. "Maybe you should go first. I don't know where it is."

Sergio walked out, Isco in front of him.

~

It was only a five minute walk, but in those five minutes a record count of angry glares was shot.

Sergio stood in the middle of them, feeling the heat of it all. But he didn't say anything, just ran off to Marcelo when they entered the room.

James and Isco stood a foot apart from one another, and Isco opened his mouth to say something but James ran off too.

~

There was no real place to sit, so Isco sat in the front by some random kid.

He seemed safe to sit next to, not the type to stare at you in disbelief and claim it was 'saved' for someone.

Isco didn't say anything, didn't think he needed to because there was no way he'd ever see this guy again. But he did scan him from the corner of his eye.

Longer hair, his teeth were pretty crooked, and Isco didn't know if it was the chair or Isco's imagination but he seemed awfully small.

Isco convinced himself that it was no use making friends with him anyways, because he seemed to have one. The guy (brown hair, underbite) next to him kept poking him and asking questions.

Whatever. He had- his roommate.

~

James on the other hand retreated to Sergio and sat next to him, Marcelo on the other side.

"Jammy." He nodded in recognition and James smiled weakly back, turned his attention to the board.

He sat idly the whole class while Marcelo and Sergio laughed with one another and already received death glares. James didn't feel lonely, he convinced himself.

But then when class was over, and Sergio left him, he did feel pretty lonely.

He went to the library, damn the guy who tried stopping him.

He saw Isco sitting awkwardly next to some guys.

~

No one seemed to be around when he approached, so he walked in confidently.

But the guy wasn't kidding. There wasn't too big of a variety. It was fine though, James wasn't picky, he'd adapt.

~

Isco went back to his dorm, Dani wasn't in there.

He had nothing to do. The only homework he had was a syllabus and his next class was in two hours. Sleeping didn't seem plausible either since he'd gotten up just a few hours before.

Sitting seemed reasonable. But then again he was already starting to suffocate.

So he dragged his ass back to the tree.

~

James was balancing four books in his arms when Sergio called him over. The wind was blowing the dust off the covers of them, so he sneezed a total of six times before he was able to mutter hello to the people with Sergio.

“This is Marcelo, as you know. And that’s Luka with a k and Lucas with a c and an s at the end.”

“Don’t fuck it up,” one guy (Lucas he guessed) said playfully and James looked at him intently. Had they seen one another-

“I see you didn’t listen to my advice,” he continued and that’s when James remembered. The asshole who’d slammed the door in his face.

“Well I never came across a bookstore on the maps.” James snapped. Lucas laughed and Sergio eyed him harshly.

“There’s no bookstore, it’s his room,” he pointed to the boy next to him (Luka with a k), who smiled meekly.

“They just call me that. I like books.” He shrugged. James identified him as the guy Isco had been sitting with that morning. Minus the giant.

“I- didn’t know that? You could’ve provided me with some info instead of running off.”

“I like him,” Lucas elbowed Marcelo. “Sassy. He yours Sergio?”

Sergio turned red. “No. No no no. Not me. Not my- type. He’s just my best friend.” James opened his mouth to complain about the ‘type’ comment but the ‘best’ shut him up.

“Well so far, you’re making some good choices. Besides Marcelo of course, but we all fall into that hole.” Lucas patted Marcelo pitifully on the cheek who swatted it away.

“You’ve fallen pretty deep then.”

“Eh,” Lucas shrugged nonchalantly. James watched confused. Sergio and Luka smiled shyly.

"Alright, well I'll get going then. Sergio you should too, it's about time for the next class." James started and everyone ripped away from their trance.

"Yeah, yeah you're right." Sergio agreed and grabbed some of the books from James' arms.

"Later then yeah? You can bring whoever you want." Marcelo yelled across to them. Sergio turned back and nodded quickly before turning back.

"Later?" James questioned.

"Party."

"Already?"

"He's known for them."

"But- already?"

"Live a little James."

And James was going to yell at him for already slacking on his work, the first day of classes. But there was no use.

If only Isc- no. Never mind. He'd be fine.

~

Isco watched people again. He didn't feel creepy (although he looked it.)

The giant guy walked by, then the other one (crooked teeth) and then they walked back together.

Isco regretted the fact that he never asked for their names. (Regretted the fact that he didn't have the courage to ask).

Usually Jam-

Why even bother, he concluded.

He'd been an ass, he knew that. But Jesé was far away so why couldn't James just forget? It was never a big deal anyways. They’d promised one other that they'd never become- close - again.

It wasn't his fault. It wasn't (was it?). He tried to make a compromise. But every time he was shot down so it wasn't him who was being stubborn. It was fine. He'd be fine. He could find new people to talk to.

(If only he knew how to speak up.)

~

James sat in the corner of his bed reading for a while, while Sergio roamed around aimlessly.

"Can you stop?" He finally looked up from the page. "You're making me nervous."

"For what?"

"I don't know. Stop."

"When is class? You said it was soon?"

James looked up at the single clock in the room. "Half hour."

Sergio started pacing again.

"Sergio?"

"What?"

"What did he mean by falling into holes?"

Sergio stopped again and smiled obnoxiously.

"They're dating."

"Who's dating?"

"Lucas and Marcelo."

"They're gay?"

"Well that's what dating guys is, no?"

"So you're the only one then?"

"Only what?"

"Only girl admirer."

Sergio shrugged. "So far."

"So far the only one or so far still an admirer?"

"I'm not gay." Sergio stuck his finger out at James accusingly. James retreated to the book.

Sergio started pacing again.

"I'm not."

James nodded. "I was just asking about holes."

~

Isco walked in late for the next class. He turned red when James turned around to look.

There weren’t many people in the class, so he took a seat in the back on the farthest side away from James. He wasn’t ignoring him, he was just- late.

James himself was surprised at the lack of people, no one he knew besides Sergio. (He “forgot” Isco was there).

Sergio seemed irritated by him though, so technically he was alone. It was ok though, for today because the course of the class was the same. Introductions, syllabuses, rules etc. etc. James found himself yawning in the middle anyways.

The only time he livened up was when he remembered he’d never asked Luka for his addre- his dorm address. Location? Was that what you called it? Or were you supposed to magically know?

He didn’t ask Sergio since he rarely read and didn’t seem too interested in Luka anyways. It was ok, he’d ask himself if they ever crossed paths that day again.

Maybe he’d be at the party? Although he didn’t seem the party-type. (Not that James was planning on going.)

He was so deep in thought, scared that Sergio would drag him to the party (torn on whether he should or not) that he didn’t notice Sergio get up and leave after class ended.

Maybe he should go, it was nice having back up friends.

~

They had one more class that day, which also included Marcelo and Lucas. No one else.

Of course, Sergio ran over to Marcelo again and James was left straggling.

Lucas looked at him from the side, pitifully even. James turned red. He didn’t like being pitied, made him feel weak. So before Lucas could ask, he sat down next to him harshly.

“Hope no one was sitting there because I am now.” Lucas smiled sideways and sat straight up in his seat (took his feet off James’ desk).

“Damn, guess I’ll have to move then because I have a whole bunch of people who wanted to sit there.”

James looked at him to check if he was serious (he wasn’t) ((James wasn’t surprised)).

“I won’t mind really.” He spat back but smiled when Lucas broke out laughing (he wasn’t entirely sure why that was so funny).

“I like you, you know.”

“You’ve mentioned.”

“If I wasn’t fucking Marcelo, I’d probably be doing you. Although no one says I can’t have you on the side.”

James looked towards him, exasperated and opened his mouth to say something.

“I’m kidding.” Lucas slapped him on the back. “I’m not going to ‘advance’ onto you. Unless you’re into it?”

“I-”

“Kidding. Again.’

James nodded weakly.

Lucas bit his nail and propped his legs up onto the side of James’ chair. “It’s Silva by the way.”

“Huh?”

“My last name. Silva. Lucas Silva. That’s what people normally do, don’t they? I’m not really used to formally introducing myself, that’s Marcelo’s job. I just wave half-assly and go back to reading.”

James nodded along, confused on why Lucas was staring at him after his sentence.

“Well? Your turn. What’s your last name Jammy.”

“It’s James, with a J. Rodriguez.”

“Very nice. And you’re not with Ramos?”

Ramos. They’d already begun calling him that.

“No, I’m not his type apparently.”

“Have you ever?”

“No, he’s not into it. I mean- into guys that is.”

“And you?”

James turned red. “Um, yeah.”

“Perfect, you’ll fit right in.” Lucas smiled widely, the first genuine smile James had ever seen come from him. “You’re coming tonight then?”

James shrugged. “I don’t know. Me and Sergio we’re not really, the same type of person. He likes those types of things and I- not really.”

“Same.”

James scrunched his eyebrows together. “But-”

“I got a big mouth and a big- but Marcelo, he likes it. I don’t. Reading, that’s my thing. Luka’s boyfriend likes all this party stuff too, well he claims he does even though- never mind. Anyways me and Luka usually ditch. You can hop on the bus.”

“I don’t know..”

“Great. Come with Sergio. You can bring whoever you want with you. I saw that one black haired kid was-”

“No one. I won’t bring anyone. I’ll come.”

“Oh, ok. Come in a tank top and short shorts. That’s the usual style.”

“I- I don’t think I-”

“Kidding, again. Again.”

And James smiled but made a mental note to stop taking things so seriously.

~

Isco heard James and Sergio leave their room at about 8. Water break or something probably. He didn’t pay any mind.

But when an hour passed and then another, and another, and another, he started to get suspicious. Dani never came back either.

He couldn’t have been missing a class, could he?

Or it was a party? But it was the first day?

He yelled at himself for being antisocial again.


	7. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Orgasmic books and spiked punch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sort of short SOrry, but chapter 4 will be basically a continuation.

James brushed his hair back, stuck some of the gel his mom had given him ‘just in case’. He had doubted its usefulness then, but now…

 

“You look dumb.” Sergio walked by and mussed it up. Never mind.

 

“But I thought that was what you’re supposed to do?”

 

“Some people, like me,” he pointed as if James didn’t know who he was talking about, “can pull it off. Some people, like you,” his finger stabbed into James’ chest (he winced), “can’t. Sorry, but if you want to gain any friends you’ll keep away from that thing.”

 

James sighed and threw it in the drawer. She tried.

 

~

 

His stomach hurt a little when Sergio knocked on Marcelo’s door. He never mentioned leaving to Sergio, so he didn’t want him to get angry. (He seemed ok now, over whatever was pissing him off before).

 

But then again, it’s not like he was dragging him along. And he was making friends (was he?) like Sergio hoped.

 

Marcelo opened the door smiling widely as always. His hair was still big, James didn’t know what he expected really. He was probably the type who couldn’t pull off hair gel, too.

 

His room was much bigger. Much bigger. James was in awe as he walked in, Sergio seemed to be too because he kept turning around.

 

“Nice, huh?”

 

“Big,” James mumbled dumbly and turned red. It was too dark to see.

 

“Yeah, as good as it gets on campus. That’s probably why I ended up having them here anyways. Everyone else is too lazy to go off campus for parties.” He shrugged and Lucas appeared next to him.

 

“You made it.” He mumbled, almost in disbelief. James turned even more red (was he really that big of a loser?).

 

“Yes we did. Although, as a side note,” Sergio leaned into Lucas’ ear and whispered something. The latter pulled away and laughed. 

 

“Well, come on then. I’ll introduce you to the other important people.” He grabbed James’ arm and dragged him over to Luka who was sipping from a paper cup. 

 

Sergio looked to him worriedly. “He’ll be fine bro, mother doesn’t need to worry.” Marcelo smiled and took him away from the door as well.

 

~

 

“You know Luka of course. Or at least you should, I don’t know about your mental issues.” James laughed half-heartedly and smiled to Luka who mirrored it.

 

“You don’t take him seriously, right?” Luka mumbled as Lucas ran over to get them some drinks.

 

“No, no he even told me himself.”

 

Luka smiled back again, patted him on the back with the hand holding his drink. Some drops fell onto James’ shirt, he winced. Did that come out?

 

“Here, it’s not spiked. Or at least not when Marcelo put it out…” Lucas handed him over a cup which James took reluctantly.

 

“That’s a joke too right?” He asked.

 

“Oh, yeah… totally.” he smiled and swigged his back. “Come on, I’ll show you other people and then we can judge them and leave.” He grabbed James’ shirt sleeve and pulled. 

 

They went over to the table filled with food, where the giant was. He was talking animatedly to another guy, lean, earrings. He didn’t seem too invested in the conversation, but giant kept talking without interruption. Swearing every three words. Earrings yawned and looked around, jaw tight.

 

Lucas poked giant in the side, got his attention. “Gareth, this is James. With a J. Rodriguez. James - Gareth Bale. Not to be called Gary.” he leaned into James’ ear and whispered ‘unfortunately’.

 

Gian- Gareth looked down at them, nodded once. “Nice to meet you. Don’t ever fucking call me Gary asshole ok?” James was stunned. 

 

“Uh, yeah… I won’t.” Lucas rolled his eyes next to him.

 

“Good. You should be ok. Right Cris? He should be ok, yeah?” he turned (to Earrings, James guessed), but Earrings was gone.

 

“I gotta go,” he said and ran off looking.

 

“He’s extremely intelligent.” Lucas said after Gareth was gone and James laughed heartily.

 

“What?”

 

He stopped. “That was a joke wasn’t it?”

 

“No,” Lucas shook his head furiously, “no he’s like honestly a genius. He just tries too much to fit in with the ‘popular’ group. As if there was any. My guess is that he has a huge crush on Cristiano, but I can’t say anything ‘cause he’s dating Luka and Luka’s such an awesome guy. Peer pressure, Marcelo calls it, but no one’s pressuring him to swear every three seconds. It doesn’t even sound natural.”

 

“Wait Earrings is dating Luka?”

 

“Cristiano?”

 

“Uh, yeah.”

 

“No. Gareth and Luka.” Lucas filled his cup up again. “I would’ve introduced you to Ronaldo, but he ran off as you saw. He hates Gary with a passion. The rest of them stomach him really, he’s nice, but I’m not surprised. If I had a tail like Ronaldo has I’d be running away too. Not that there’s much to introduce you to, he’s sorta- hollow. Fuck boy as some people like to address him.”

 

James’ head started spinning. “Ronaldo?”

 

“Earrings. Cristiano Ronaldo dos something something.”

 

“Oh.” And James was going to ask what made him ‘hollow’, but that was enough on one person for today.

 

~

 

Marcelo did his own introducing. Dani and Fabio and Iker and Toni. 

 

They all looked pretty similar to Sergio, either blond or brown haired. But he smiled widely and shook each one’s hand. (They all swooned).

 

He had a large group of guys surrounding him wherever he went after that. Not that he wasn’t used to it. They were all nice, talkative. None of them as funny as Marcelo though, so he naturally gravitated to wherever Marcelo was.

 

He lost sight of James, it was ok though, Lucas would take care of him. Hopefully keep him away from drugs and alcohol (though he wasn’t keen on staying away from them himself).

 

The giant ran over to their group as Sergio was getting his third cup full of punch (it was spiked, he had known on the first sip but that didn’t keep him from it. He’d feel guilty later).

 

“Gareth,” Marcelo yelled out. Giant nodded confusedly. 

 

“Have you fucking seen Cristiano?”

 

Sergio turned to Marcelo at the sound of someone he hadn’t been introduced to yet. But Marcelo didn’t notice.

 

“What happened?” Fabio yelled back (the music was drowning him out).

 

“What?”

 

“You said ‘have you fucking seen him’, so?”

 

“No I mean, where is he?”

 

Marcelo laughed, Sergio still looked at him awaitingly. “He’s somewhere around here. Just stay here.”

 

Gareth seemed reluctant, but ended up staying anyways.

 

Sergio took the opportunity to ask. “You’ve forgotten someone to introduce me to, I’m offended.” He smiled lightly.

 

Marcelo shrugged. “I didn’t know he was here, I don’t think he’s much for intros anyways. Gareth will find him soon enough.”

 

“Introvert?”

 

“Nah, I don’t really know man. He’s - he doesn’t like talking about himself. Nice, don’t get me wrong, but then again-”

 

He stopped talking. Sergio stopped asking.

 

~

 

“Unless you’re into this, we can get going.” Lucas said after finishing off his third drink. James still had some, but the bottom of his cup was starting to soften up so maybe it was time to throw it away.

 

“Yeah, sure.” He shrugged and Lucas laughed, shaking his head.

 

“I’ll get Luka.”

 

It wasn’t too far, this bookstore. “It’s messy, just be warned.” Luka warned bashfully while unlocking the door. “Gareth has learned to live with it.”

 

It really was a bookstore. Books lined his bed, the walls, his closet. “We shower at Lucas’ if you’re wondering.” He remarked as James looked through the books in the bathroom.

 

“Where did you get all of these?” He asked, Luka shrugged. 

 

“I like books. My dad did too. You should’ve seen his office, it was overflowing. And when he died, I got them all. Mom didn’t want them. She’s not much of a reader.” He smiled weakly.

 

James ran his fingers over the covers. “People buy them?”

 

“No way. Rent. They pay for however long they want them-” he pointed to a board on the wall, periods of time written out along with the price, “and then I lend them. If they’re ruined or go over time, they have to pay too. I couldn’t get rid of dad’s books, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

 

James nodded along, still mesmerized by the selection. Lucas observed cheekily, splayed out on Gareth’s bed (or the strip that wasn’t occupied). 

 

“Orgasmic, huh?” He chuckled when James nodded quickly.

 

~

 

Isco couldn’t fall asleep. He tried. He really did, but something kept him up.

 

He tossed and turned and counted sheep. Googled ways on his phone, and then got too caught up in playing games.

 

It was useless, he’d be tired the next day. Have red-rimmed eyes and yawn constantly, but there was nothing he could do.

 

At least he wouldn’t be the only one. James and Sergio and the rest of their …. friend group, would be exhausted as well.

 

From partying (he concluded).

 

((Sigh)).


	8. *not a chapter*

alright well this is really annoying when people do it but for now i'm discontinuing this story because I really don't like how it's going nor do i have future ideas nor am I persuaded and excited to write it like I am my other stories. Which means that it would probably be half-assed and crappy because I'd write it just to get something down, if that makes sense. I may or may not come back to it one day, but I'm sorry that for now it's a no.


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